1) I wasn’t born to be a social butterfly. Socialising is something which tires me, and I don’t always enjoy it. I’m not a person who can talk for a mile a minute, but I am a person who can type a mile a minute. Okay, no. I don’t type that fast. But I relish the process of being able to edit my thoughts before I get them out. I’m not good at improvisation in a short period of time. This is why I dislike talking in real life, on the phone, or over instant messenger. Conversation often stalls, becomes awkward, then I start to feel bad.
2) I have a desperate yearning for sugar, sugar, sugar and more sugar. And fat. And carbs in general. I almost never crave a real meal, but I have to eat something real, right? I would be happy if I ate a lovely chocolate chip cookie for each meal. Or a muffin with a big, crusty muffin top and a delicate, moist crumb underneath. Or a spoonful of peanut butter straight out of the jar. Or a good loaf of chewy, doughy bread. Dough. Dough. Dough. I love you so.
3) I have a habit of taking things from my father. I now dominate his camera. Almost completely. Actually, I dominate both of his more “professional” cameras. His dSLR, and his film camera, which I use for photography class at school. Which brings me to point number 4, but I’m not done talking about this subject yet. Does this ever happen to you? I’m trying to make a list here, and it just doesn’t flow. So let’s go backwards and forwards, upwards and downwards, in and out and around and away. Back to the point: I took my dad’s Bose headphones today. The sound quality is phenomenal.
3.5) I wonder if anybody noticed that in my video, I spelled “phenomenon” as this: “phenomenom“.
4) I love doing mindless things. I don’t know if developing photos count, but it’s such a mechanical, ritualistic process. It’s precise with times and exposures and f-stops and shutter speeds. Maybe I’m made to be a scientist, but I’d rather be an artist. Is there such a thing as a precise, orderly artist? When I think of artists, I always think of creative people who live by their own rules and don’t like to be precise. Right-brained people, no? This is why I like to bake, too. I am not like my mother, who doesn’t use recipes. I like to measure things and make sure it’s precise, and make sure that the results are the same every time. But then again, I do enjoy modifying, and I will on occasion throw in an unexpected ingredient. But I have a tendency to overthink things. And a tendency to start sentences with conjunctive words. Which would horrify my English teacher. I also have a tendency to digress and forget what I am talking about. What was I talking about?
5) I wish I could run away.
I think we all at one point in our lives feel like #1. sometimes the people who DO seem like social butterflies only do because they’re scared of being awkward or other people not liking them. better to be real and yourself, even if it’s awkward. besides, I’d like to talk to you face to face one day.
and really, awkwardness doesn’t exist… only if you believe you’re making it awkward. if you don’t think about it, and just let things happen naturally, it’ll be alright.
I like developing photos too.
I do think there are precise artists. just like there are creative scientists, there are logical artists. after all, getting shadows right and proportions in painting is kind of a science. and photography is kind of an art that combines creativity AND science. :]
My dad has a rather nice vintage Fiji camera which I have yet to possess completely. I’m also certainly not a social butterfly. I need my private, personal space. I could never live with someone else. Nope, not even married. I however, like mindful things. I always change recipes somehow. Even when I’m watching a mindless TV show, I’ll be googling up stuff while I watch.
1. Its totally okay. It definitely requires some work for me to be social, but I find that the more I do it the more I enjoy it and it is easier.
2. That happens to me when I havent had enough protein during the day, I become a carb monster at night… ?
4. I dont! I am too impatient. Mehh.
5. I think we all feel that way at some point. Or at many points.
Mindless activities make me very happy, too. I love the ability to detach my mind from my body and exist outside of it for a while, not really thinking about anything, but more meditation in motion. Lovely.
#1, 2, and 4 all apply to me. SUGAR. Now I must go eat a delicious cookie. :P
#2 definitely applies to me. It’s hard, because I miss baking but my apt in China doesn’t have an oven so I can’t bake all year :(
I am horrible at talking to people face to face as well. My longest conversation to someone who’s not a close friend was with someone who was spilling his life story to me. I only spoke back about two sentences I think haha Maybe if I was munching on a chocolate muffin I would’ve have more energy to say more back ~~
i am horrible at talking with people as well. The longest conversation I had with someone who I am not close to is with a guy who spilled his life story to me. I think I could only say 2 sentences back to him haha~Maybe if I was munching on a chocolate muffin at that time I would’ve had more things to say~~
Number two! Haha, amen. . . and number one. . . and five.
I feel you on number one…I’m always so awkward when it comes to socializing. In a weird way, I have come to embrace that about myself.
This list is just perfect. I am so happy I stumbled upon your blog, it’s lovely.
-Meagan
I totally understand the preference of the written word over actually speaking. My mother calls me AT LEAST once a day and I have literally nothing to talk about! I really would rather just write her a thoughtful, long e-mail once or twice a week to update her on my life and then maybe do a weekly phone call. When she calls every single day, I can’t think of anything to talk about (mostly because there’s not that much going on in my life)! Then she gets mad at me. I wish everyone liked writing more than talking!